Ego: An Echo Chamber of Reflection

Hi, I’m ____ nice to meet you.

We are all familiar with this introductory phrase, right? But who is the “I”?

The “I” is just one result of a naming disease that has plagued humanity since the dawn of time. Our world is vast and enigmatic and to help us on our journey of discovery, we have curated this wonderful system of calculation and language called science that we are convinced is the answer to our ever-present identity crisis. Yet despite how much we “know” we are still left unsatisfied in the limbo of knowing that our simplifications do not deal with the complexities of the universe in full, leaving us in a paradoxical relationship with the system of symbols we have created that limit how we can truly experience reality.

We even think of ourselves as “living organisms,” which take part in this reality that we call a “universe,” interacting with one another with what we call our “personalities.” What is a personality? Our personality is what we can call our image, the idea of ourselves. Let us use myself as an example, “Ren the Writer” (RTW) is who “I” am, or is it? RTW is the lens through which many of you view and understand me to be but to many others, I am just “Lauren.” However, neither identity of mine contains the fullness of who I was created to be. They do not harness all my unconscious processes, the fullness of my self-expression, nor the full contents of my soul. Therefore, it is safe to conclude that the construction of my being is not limited to the concept of “Ren the Writer” nor is it strapped to the concept of “Lauren.” I single handedly am just as enigmatic as the universe that encases us all, potentially even more so, depending on who you ask.

The next and most logical question to ask would be, “Who am I?” I am a created being, the byproduct of a mind so intelligent that our measly calculators cannot come close to computing a fraction of its majesty. Unfortunately, the concept of my being is not directly reflective of the inseparable relationship between myself and my creator, though that is the goal, I know that RTW and Lauren are just not cutting it and it seems as if “I” is in the way.

“I” is just a fraud that is often mistaken for the real me. “I,” just like all the other systems and symbols of the world, am confined to being just an observable concept and there is nothing “I” can do about it. Similarly to how you cannot physically lift the abstract concept of the number five or utilize the imaginary line of the equator to jump rope with, there exists an intangible notion of “I” that lacks physical substance. To break it down even further, principles like justice or morality hold significance in our understanding but lack tangible form or practical application in the physical world. Yet we all feel that the concept we identify as “ourselves” is worth defending because we think it really exists. 

However, I do believe that there will be a “me” that remains when my person and personality inevitably returns to the dust from which we all originate. That is because I am an experience, born to experience. There is so much more to who I am that cannot be expressed with words or actions but instead with a deep knowing, a love. And there is a longing that I am convinced lies in each one of us that desires to know and to be known in the context of that love. Yet we are all so distracted with who we think we are to allow ourselves to indulge. And as a result, we unintentionally bind ourselves in marriage with the falsehood we call our identity. For some people, this marriage prevents them from experiencing the true freedoms of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. And we wonder why we feel cut off from everything, why everyone is trying to 'find' themselves. We have been alienated from truth and forced into a state of fear; fear of life, being who we truly are, and a fear of death, losing who we think we are.

Now, the million-dollar question is why? Let’s imagine that you are asked to focus intensely on a puzzle, to solve it with absolute clarity. As you strain to decipher each piece, you might feel your muscles tensing, your jaw clenching, or even your breath quickening. But what does all this physical effort have to do with solving the puzzle effectively? Nothing at all.

But this habitual tension that has been taught to us via our life experiences, traumas, and subsequent reflections is woven throughout our entire body like an invisible thread and serves as a false anchor for our sense of self. We mistakenly attribute our identity to the familiar feeling of unnecessary strain. However, this tension is illusory—it does not define us, nor does it contribute to our success in solving puzzles, adhering to authority, or just being a human being.

So, what needs to occur is a return to a rational understanding of our existence—a recognition of our true nature as organisms intricately woven into the fabric of the environment around us, rather than clinging to the illusion of a separate, more important, self.

But how can we achieve this? Many people claim that changing human nature or relinquishing the ego is an arduous task, the most challenging of all. Yet, in truth, the ego is but a phantom—an idea constructed upon a fabricated sensation. When faced with this reality, it is a sobering revelation for both individuals and humanity at large. Our attempts to impose order upon this chaotic world has only led to further disarray. Again, we find ourselves at an impasse—a dead end.

So, what options remain? Self-deletion? Or is there another path, a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness?

It is at this juncture that, we must halt our ceaseless inquiries and embrace the world as it unfolds—a reality that is always happening for our greatest good, rather than one being forced or manipulated for self-provocation.

When we pause and relinquish our false sense of control, it becomes clear that every moment of our existence is a privilege; one where we get the opportunity to witness life unfolding around us effortlessly. Breathing, wind rustling through the trees as sunlight peeks through the gaps in the leaves, blood coursing through our veins—it all happens without any effort from us Earthlings. And it is in this moment of cessation where we are able to realize a profound truth: our fundamental selves cannot be confined to something as small as a personality.

In essence, we are designed and encased in these flesh suits we call bodies through the will of an incredibly intelligent mind; one we cannot put into the box of what we understand to be “I”, even if we tried.

As created beings with intrinsic value, we have a purpose for living and existing on this planet. I fundamentally believe that the afore mentioned purpose is to love God, and then learn to understand that love so that we may then transmute it to one another so that we may enjoy this experience, that we call “life”, collectively.

This realization—that life is not about doing or understanding, but about being—is the essence of our true selves.

So, I will not prescribe a specific course of action. Instead, I propose a motion for us all to intentionally strive to return to our authentic selves, by shedding the illusory identities we have constructed and by embracing the thread that tethers us to all existence, love. By surrendering to the pulling force of God and allowing ourselves to be swept up in the natural flow of love, freedom, and peace, we just may hold the key to our collective worldly redemption.

May we all one day be able to answer the question “Who am I?” with confidence.

Matthew 7:20 + Galatians 5:22-26

Written by: Ren The Writer